I often think about it, the reason I am here, wherever here truly is, whatever "here" refers to, because tuning into my philosophical side is the most FULL-filling thing for my soul.
Such are the needs of a Mercury in Pisces, 12th House. And as Pluto now transits Capricorn over my 9th House -- of higher learning and spirituality.
Join me in climbing the highest peaks of reflective contemplation in today's write up. Hugs, Beth
Alone with my thoughts in silence, I find myself floating on the endlessly deep, dark ocean of possibility. The world around me dim and vast, so endless, feeling weightless… dancing around with the “what if” gently sliding and bouncing from my fingers.
What if how I see myself…
Foating above the pitch black “smooth as molten glass” water, a tiny glowing speck rocking nearly imperceptibly over the horizon… Surrounded my the deepest shades of azure, violet and viridian, spotted lightly with the shimmering night sky.
Is merely the way I chose to interpret all the things I learned as a mere toddler with so little of it I could accurately recall, much of it fixated as established facts, sorted in predictable structures all around me.
What if in a desire to make harmony of the images in children’s books, horrific paintings of people floundering carried away by floods, animals and humans alike grimacing in anguish.
I fashioned a better dream, the dream of recovery, of the resurrection of every person who died. Lighting up their sad, abandoned and rejected souls lost at sea, one by one detected, embraced and lifted up into their own personal raft.
In my 3 year old mind, the only logical and practical solution was that they each have a raft to float above the waters.
Wouldn’t all the people manage together? Meeting from time to time, crossing paths, and exchanging connetion lines.
“Here, have this rope, be sure to pull it when you wish us to commune again.”
If up is down and above is below, doesn’t that mean that this is not earth but heaven? And we are finding our way back accross the tumultuous pain caused in this ocean?
Ghosts of a now long past catastrophe, ripples on far beyond, calling us to remember, we were once united together…
Before our code was confused and we aborted the invader deployment to go our separate ways.
I want to say cracked the code, the mental structures through fear, religion and Christendom, and yet every single reflection before me reminds me otherwise.
At the very foundation, the code-switch molded this cosmic soul. No matter what I want now, I am incapable of escape.
I entered the snow globe surrounded by plastic toys, no longer able to perceive beyond or get out.
But, occasionally I fall back asleep to the droning sound of the tall tales sold to me by the lifeless faceless unlovable mechanical figurines circling me.
Only to again break out of my slumber, kicking, screaming, 😱 “Let me OUT!!!”
In the beginning ALL said, “Let there be light.”
And Spirit was moving about above the waters.
Only to recall the artifacts of this illusion have long since melded into me and I have seeped into their metally cores.
I have become a twisted up little spark of infinity, coiled up inseparably into the finite of the corporeal realm, the clay beneath me and the metal around me – oh what a thing!
All that reminiscing brings me full circle to the firsts of Genesis and the pages of Daniel.
If I AM what this suggests I am, the abyss is not the place I gnash my teeth in anguish, or is that merely my denial?
Then, the monstrous reality dawns upon me, it was me all along. I denied the ALL, to become the Eye.
I am Ein Soph — the Sophia who plunged down in the pursuit if another beautiful tiny spark.
